Defining Critical Words in 4.34

Qawwâmuna: from root qawwâm: maintainer, caretaker, provider, supporter, somebody who stands firmly and upright, one who stands firm in another's business, protects his interests and looks after his affairs; standing firm in his own business, managing affairs, with a steady purpose, be in charge of, manage, run, tend, guard, keep up, preserve, take care of, attend to, watch over, look after, manager, director, superintendent, keeper, custodian, and guardian.

Mohammad Asad has translated this in "The Message of the Qur'an" as - Man shall take full care of woman with bounties which had been bestowed more abundantly…." He explains, "The expression "Qawwâm" is an intensive form of "Qaim" (one who is responsible for or takes care of a thing or a person). This "Qama alal mar'a" signifies "He undertook the maintenance of the woman" or "He maintains her" (See Lane, vol.8 pg. 2995). The grammatical form of Qawwâm is more comprehensive than Qaim and combines the concepts of physical maintenance and protection as well as moral responsibility.

From this wide range of meanings, some interpolate that a husband is responsible for his wife, ie: her disciplining, teaching and guidance in all matters

“As for the meaning of qawwâm, when I checked the lexical meanings of the root, there is (among many meanings) the meaning of 'be in charge of, manage, run, tend, guard, keep up, preserve, take care of, attend to, watch over, look after'.  From this comes the definition of qawwâm as 'manager, director, superintendent, caretaker, keeper, custodian, and guardian’.  This range of definitions might allow for a paternalistic interpretation if you were disposed to find one, but considered on the whole it carries the sense of, to take an analogy, stewardship over the environment as opposed to exploitation.  (The parallel themes of femininity and the natural earth being noted, as also in the verse "Your wives are a tilth unto you...".)  What emerges very clearly from this analysis is the complete lack of warrant for coercion, dictatorship, domination.  I still think we should explore another side of this root, reflected in the word qayyim, meaning 'righteous, true, reliable', i.e. this verse establishes a husband's responsibility to treat his wife well, to be kind, caring, and just. This takes it further away from dictatorship and makes it a partnership.”
Yahya Monastra… personal mail.  

The same word used elsewhere in the Quran:
Sûrah an Nisa 4:135 
O you who believe! Stand out firmly (qawwamina) for justice as witness to Allah….

Faddala: preference

Dharaba has several meanings other than striking, one of them meaning to return to having sexual relations, ie: return to normal life.  adriboo as: 'to separate' or 'to part'.
The word translated as "slap/hit/beat" derives from the Arabic root DRB. 
Words derived from the same DRB root occur 58 times in the Koran, and nowhere else is it used (or translated) in this sense. Of the many other meanings assigned to it, a few are: to set out (on the road), to shroud (in darkness), to strike (an example), to mint (a coin), to publish (a book), to cover (concerning ladies' dresses), to dispatch, to throw, to raise (something set down), etc.
'dharaba' metaphorically means to have intercourse, and quotes the expression 'darab al-fahl an-naqah', 'the stud camel covered the she-camel,' which is also quoted by Lisan al-'Arab. It cannot be taken here to mean 'to strike them (women).'
wadribu: 'have intercourse'
(Raghib in his Al-Mufridat fi Gharib al-Qur'an gives the meanings of these words with special reference to this verse.)

'fa-'izu' means to 'to talk to them so persuasively as to melt their hearts.' (See also v.63 of this Sûrah where it has been used in a similar sense.)

'hajara' means to separate body from body, and points out that the expression wahjaru hunna metaphorically means to refrain from touching or molesting them. Zamakhshari is more explicit in his Kahshaf when he says, 'do not get inside their blankets.' 
wahjaru:  'leave them alone (in bed - fi'l-madage')