If you were raised in an atmosphere where the roles for men and women were different, some of those stereotypes will still prevail. It can be difficult to break free from old habits and social norms, even when you know it's the best thing for your child. It is hard work but it is entirely possible.
What you show your children is as important as many of the lessons they learn at school. If they grow up with gender biased role models in the home that is what they will create when they grow up and start their own families. If they grow up seeing both parents being respectful of each other, and the children, that is what they will create for their family.
Seeing a father cook, clean and help around the house will have a greater impact on the daughter than just telling her that mom’s ‘jobs’ are just as important as dad’s job. Actions speak louder than words. Teaching her to fix the car can be just as valuable as teaching her how to cook.
Make time to talk to your daughter. Get to know her, find out how she thinks and feels about everything. Let her know that you care. Spend time with her regularly. Get involved in her activities. Share your interests and hobbies with her. Show her that spending time with her is important to you. Involve her in the decision-making process.
Your relationship with your daughter teaches her what value she has as a person; her identity and self-worth develops from how you interact with her. When you neglect her, she learns to neglect herself. If you abuse her she will learn to take abuse or become abusive. If you respect her she will learn to respect herself and others. The way you relate with her will determine how she will relate with others, and what kind of family life she will create for herself in the future.
Seemingly unimportant chores are extremely valuable in teaching children the basic lessons of sharing, compromising, co-operating, respect and responsibility. Your attitude toward everything you do is a loud and clear message to your children. Sometimes she can do things that she may think are boring, and sometimes you will do things that you are not interested in.
Children need the presence of both parents; they need the active involvement of both parents in their everyday life. A mother cannot fill the role of the father in the same way that a father can. Nor can a father be a mother for his children.
Along with the serious responsibility of being your child's first and most influential role model, parents should also make time to have fun with their children. Children also love to do things with their parents that involve play. Kids will have a lot more fun and take ownership of your special time together if they help decide what activities to engage in.
Know that you are shaping your daughter’s future by how you relate with her.
© 2001 published on www.crescentlife.com
